You’ll be given cushy jobs!
You’ll be given cushy jobs!
It glides as softly as a cloud.
I used to like Steven Wright.
I still do, but I used to, too.
Usually, the most effective way is to say, “Wanna hear a knock knock joke?”
“Sure!”
“Okay, you start.”
Has about a 90% success rate.
If only it were once a year. This year, people started on the 28th of fucking June, and didn’t stop until the goddamn 6th.
If it actually was contained to the 4th, I would be fine with it, but getting woken up by an explosion every night at 1:30am for a week straight, it gets real old, real fast.
If a loud concert or horror movie popped up next door and rattled the houses of an entire neighborhood from 10pm to 2am, I’m pretty sure law enforcement would do something about it.
R.I.P. Wade Boggs.
(Had to double-check his wiki to make sure this reference is still safe to make.)
“Jesus, Sarah, when are you gonna finally box train that thing?”
What, haven’t you all spent three months to grow one head of lettuce? Just skip breakfast for breakfast and eat cereal for dinner!
Which often led to visible confusion, as people could hear John Cena, but not see him.
The airlines should offer a compromise, like putting all minorities at the back of the plane. /s
Naw, musta been Warm Bodies.
Brooklyn 99 reference?
And as soon as you change the channel, the dog will say, “Hey, I was watching that.”
That’s actually pretty good, subversion of expectations with an absurdist kicker.
Probably was Big Screen. And you can indeed throw popcorn, now.
Just be aware with this technique that going to the ER to patch up your sliced open finger is probably more distracting than the sound of the can opening.
I disagree, he should kill them…
With kindness!
I was going to say, far better to be expelled out of the country than out a window.
No, good sir, I’m on the level.