Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
I think I’m quite good at asking questions, but when it comes back the other way my mind often goes blank. It could be that I don’t perform well under pressure, so maybe I need more practice with that. Speaking slowly is a good suggestion - I find myself speaking way too fast when I want to get a point out.
Sometimes I can turn that around and say something like “I’m not sure, what about you?”. I think often people just ask us about a topic because they want to say something about it.