I know that it has significant meaning to me but I struggle putting it into words to explain it to other people (especially other dya cis people). So like a few years ago I was thinking about if I may be trans femme. I have since realised that no, actually I was just struggling with it for a while because I don’t relate to the gender roles and expectations society puts on men. I now identify more strongly with being a man than ever before, and I love being a man in a gender-way. I just absolutely hate being a man in a “what role men have in society”-way.
Well, what does “being a man” mean outside of gender roles? There are physical attributes we have that women don’t. We grow facial hair, we grow muscle more easily, we are on average taller, tend to have better spatial intelligence, higher rates of aggression, higher rates of risk taking, more men lay on the extremes of distribution curves
All of those are due to mostly physical attributes outside of any perceived gender roles.
What does being a man mean to me? Well, it means you protect and provide for the people in your life. It means you are kind but stern. Just but merciful.
I’m a very old-school traditional kind of guy relative to the new generation. I was raised by immigrants from a more conservative country - and while I am certainly not politically conservative, I do prefer conservative gender roles to an extent.
I like women that are feminine, I like women who cook for me, in my relationships I’m the more “stoic” one and the woman is usually more flamboyant/emotional.
Ultimately we all know gender roles are all societally based rules. But I figure a lot of our notions of life in society are also societally based rules… doesn’t mean they are useless. Men are soldiers because they tend to make better soldiers. Women are nurses because they tend to be more empathetic and less threatening.
These are partly due to biology, partly due to gender roles. It’s an interesting question you bring up.