How do you sanitise the area to prevent infection? If you get surgery on the rusty sheriff’s badge, how does it not get infected the next time you lay an otter egg? Do they connect a colostomy bag in that case, to give it time to heal?
You can get a lethal infection from a paper cut if the right (see: wrong) bacteria get into it. Short of piledriving a snooker cue coated with hand sanitiser, I don’t know how a filthy corridor of doom like the excretory system can be kept free of bacteria after Dr. Bussy Torn MD has been rooting around in there with his weed whacker.
Surely antibiotics aren’t enough on their own to prevent infection? Anywhere else in the body, sure, but the chucklet waterpark is like ground zero for biological malevolence. It would be like wearing nothing but a steel showercap to keep mosquitos from biting you.
What dark arts are surgeons invoking here?
FWIW, colonoscopies are no big deal. Sucks drinking the potion and blowing your guts out, all while starving for a day, but the procedure is kinda fun.
They lay you down, pump some pasty white in your IV. And you wake up stoned as balls and ready for mass food intake! (Yes, someone has to drive you home, I really mean you’ll be stoned.)
And for anyone who’s read this far alone: Do NOT shave your asshole. I was trying to make a presentable ass, like medical pros give a fuck, and shaved my hole and cheeks quite nicely.
And then the shitting potion hit. My. Gods. I was naked in bed, holding my burning cheeks apart, shaking all over. Picture working your crack over, all the way to the taint, with 220-grit sandpaper. Nothing too crazy, just enough to skin that top layer down to the pink.
Wife: What can I do?!
“Get Michelle! Fucking go get MICHELLE NOW!!!”
Wife: But you’re naked and sweating…"
“NURSE NOW!”
Michelle was the nurse next door. She got me some Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. Works for diaper rash, worked for me.