alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?

I’m still looking for a drama free workplace and I don’t understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere

Working in several industries, I’ve met:

  • white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I’m very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?

  • Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn’t so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn’t you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?

  • An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.

  • And just today: ‘it’s good that Trump was shot’ Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.

I have waaaaay more examples, but I’ll keep it simple.

I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don’t want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I’m very thin skinned and I’m easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell ‘fck off, you piece of sht, I don’t give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone’, or something like that. But I need the job.

My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn’t it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?

Unless, of course, you’ve job hopped till you found a drama free workplace… please tell me how you did it.

I want to be the old guy who doesn’t give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.

  • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
    5·
    1 month ago

    Like many others have said here, it simply is unavoidable. People are gonna people, and a number of them usually do it to illicit some reaction, whether it’s agreement which reinforces their nonsense, or ragebaiting that gives them a giggle and still reinforces their nonsense. Realistically the only thing you can do is ignore them and get on with your day.

    I think the biggest thing to remember is that a lot of people have very little social interaction outside of their home lives and work. They spend their time either at home with family or even alone, loading their brains with whatever garbage they find on the Internet, and then spew it back into the world to see what sticks. In many people’s minds, you are simply the one in front of them at the moment when they want to spout off. It seems like you’re taking it personally, when in reality a lot of these yoyos are too shortsighted to even consider you as a person. You are an NPC to their main character.

    What helps is remembering that usually none of what anyone says is personally targeted. And even if it is, what does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Half the population has double digit IQs (not that that’s a great metric to go on, but still). Just keep doing your thing, stay focused on your work, and don’t let morons live rent free in your head. I know it may sounds difficult, but it really is as easy as just paying no mind to them.