• chic_luke@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Uni! We were just friends, though very good friends. But still firmly just friends, she was actually in a relationship for a good part of our friendship and I had zero interest in going beyond good friends with her in particular, and I especially knew better than fall for a person in a relationship - I’ve never seen one of these end well. I haven’t been interested in dating for most of my life. But I think that’s because my social life and self esteem has been seriously eeh in middle and high school, while I started really working on a social life in uni. Before jumping to dating I wanted to get a few basics down - a good friend group (ended up being several of them!), a real social life and some 1:1 close friends. Plus my own personal world of hobbies, ambitions and interests. You know - a good world to introduce a person to. At one point, I was feeling finally ready for a relationship and excited to try and accept this possible direction in life. I started acting as someone who’s interested in dating: worked on my appearance and self esteem, got more social and made it a point to socialize with everybody at events. That friend I mentioned earlier actually was on a small personal “Do not date” blacklist, because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship (read: be rejected and see the other person go cold on you until you lose them completely… I had already made that mistake) and she was the person with whom I naturally vibed the absolute best - it was effortless. Who wants to lose the effortoess friend who doesn’t drain their social battery at all?

    I guess it was so effortless that when it was supposed to happen it happened, things happened, our friendship was starting to develop in a “dangerous” direction (which was making me feel wary to be fair because I was definitely starting to catch feelings), then at one point she made a move and it felt like an impossible dream come true, like the best case scenario that was so good I was not even considering it as a valid option coming to life. Easily one of the happiest moments of my life. And the rest is history.