Mostly lurking. United States southerner, gay, working retail. An amazing combination

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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: February 23rd, 2024

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  • Not the most dramatic, but when I was really little I remember play fighting with my brothers, and falling backwards off the bed and hitting my head against a dresser.

    There was no wound or anything but I remember seeing all kinds of fucked up colors at the moment of impact. Despite being a huge crybaby, I’m pretty sure I didn’t cry or freak out, I was just extremely fatigued.

    I wonder if we should have gone to the doctor. I don’t think you’re supposed to see TV static and rainbow vomit when you bump your head.


  • In my 20s I got really optimistic about aging. See I was unschooled and never really had any life outside my home life, which wasn’t great. Didn’t get a high school diploma and starting my first job felt impossible.

    Soon I made a group of friends, I discovered art, and I felt like I was capable of learning and growing and having a fulfilling life. I actually looked forward to being 30 because I thought I’d have matured a lot and learned how to live.

    30 now. My friends were toxic. I lost my passion for art. I can’t find any work outside of retail and I can’t get an education because I’m so busy making ends meet. I feel like I’ve regressed into the worst version of my shut-in child self. I work and I get what sleep I can and I have no relationships.

    I really hope this is part of the process.



  • To me personally, it’s a difference in the function of a room versus photos. Photos were always intended to capture memories, whereas a room was meant to be used and lived in. The idea of keeping the room as it was, permanently, feels like stagnation to me. I worry once it stopped being a comforting space, I still couldn’t bring myself to do anything with it because it would reopen the wound, so I’d just ignore it and live around it, and the feeling of stagnation would grow heavier.

    But also everyone grieves differently, and I’ve never lost a child, so I can only guess how I’d grieve based on how I’ve grieved other relationships. It’s possible no one in that family feels the way I described. That’s just my best answer for why it sounds creepy to a bunch of us.






  • It’s funny, I was ALWAYS taught to say please growing up, but as an adult I only hear it in more formal settings, or from older folks. I think people realized that tone and body language also show that you’re trying to be pleasant and not bossy, and dropped the habit of saying it.

    I’m sure it’s regional, though, and I’m only speaking for one small chunk of the US.




  • '93, younger end of millennial.

    Not big on generation labels though, they feel like a failed experiment. People are born every day of every year and our experiences overlap in a gradient. They don’t separate into distinct portions.

    The baby boom was an actual phenomenon, but every label afterwards feels arbitrary.