• 2 Posts
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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: May 20th, 2024

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  • I judge people who judge others for gatekeeping. God forbid I have a well informed and strong opinion based on experience. If I share that with a casual or new person then it’s now called gatekeeping.

    It’s ok to have different opinions but not all opinions are equal, and if you’re a casual participant or new to a field/hobby/whatever your opinion doesn’t matter as much. Additionally, if you are discouraged and feel held back by strong opinions by others then maybe you should be kept out.











  • Thr scaries start for me once it gets close to noon and the day no longer feels young. The feeling that the day is lost merges with a similar feeling about life, which urges me to do something, anything, with my time.

    That’s when I usually get a burst of productivity that lasts until it’s 5pm. The weekend is gone and it’s time to enter self care mode. That usually means good food and entertainment in one form or another. As it gets dark I’ll start trying to stop time with booze or a bit of weed as I indulge myself with sports or a movie.

    I will often go to bed early so I can be all cozy and in a safe space to go down a wikipedia hole, read a book, listen to music and just veg in general.

    Once the day is actually over the scaries usually have disappeared oddly enough.





  • I remember just giving up on life in second grade, refusing to participate or do anything because I was sad. Got tested a bunch after that and given pills that mad me a zombie.

    There on out I was treated as a weird kid and that brought a different kind of sadness. Puberty added anger and suicidal ideation. The knowledge that I was fucked up, the world was fucked up, and my life wasn’t going to work out.

    Years later here I am, living with the knowledge I was right and watching myself fail at life, finding no joy or peace in anything. Everything is an open sore. Wondering when I’ll get to a point where I rage quit.

    I think most of the people I know are anxious or depressed, or both. Hut I don’t know of anyone close to me who is at my level.