I’m sad nobody has mentioned Chrono Trigger…

Magic the Gathering.

I played religiously in high school. Competed in tournaments every weekend. But around Stronghold, they just started churning out expansion after expansion after expansion, and even placing high in most tournaments, i just couldn’t keep up with the older guys that had incomes. So, i quit.

When Commander came out, i tried to play again, but it just felt different. It was more about who had the coolest mat, or who had the newest combo. It felt monetized, and i didn’t like it. The final straw for me was when i found out they did a promo expansion with My Little Pony… If you like MLP, cool. More power to you. But i HATE MLP with a rage that could scour all life from existence. My little sister was obsessed, and that meant it was in my face for a decade at least. Can’t stand that shit, and wizards going cash grab during the height of the bronie movement just killed the last of my good will.

“Please log onto your dumbbell account.”

Elected on Friday. Sworn in on Saturday. Assassinated on Sunday.

God damn right! I’m not propping the door open, I’m ripping it off the hinges.

Seeing as this is the first time I’m hearing about Nights into Dreams, Mario is obviously better.

Stop. I hate this fucking timeline. Lemme off!

“Bullets! My only weakness!”

The blue(and green) beetle LIVES!

cries in Halo

You said it better than i ever could. Starting at Jurassic Park, and going all the way to The Wheel of Time, just keep Hollywood away from my literature!

I’ll do you one better: why is updog?

Not sure, but I’ve heard he’s friends with Justin Thyme.

I just started replaying Parasite Eve for the first time since 98, so this was an amusing post for me also.

Aww, c’mon! That’s MrWeebl! He gave us badgerbadgerbadger!

Nothing. What’s an up with you, dawg?

I hear England has a family that’s famous for just being alive…

But, have you met a Tiny Japanese Girl?

No. I prefer eating my fries in a chair, or on a stool if I’m feeling frisky.

A lot of us have stories like that.

When i was 4 or 5, i had a Tender Heart carebear that i LOVED. I took it everywhere with me. One of my first memories ever is my dad calling it “slender fart” to the point of me bawling my eyes out. He has never accepted that this fucked me up in a very deep way. The person i looked up to for protection was hurting me. For fun. I’m in my 40s now, and anything i start to develop an interest in, even to this day, comes with a sense of dread. “How can this be used against me?”

Irony of ironies, my dad now has in inoperable brain tumor. I’ve basically retired early and moved back in with my parents in order to be around if they ever need anything, which is every day. It’s crossed my mind more than once to return the favor and fuck with his addled old brain, but then, would i be any better than him? No, that misery he tried to breed in me stops and dies with me.