Don’t forget the duct tape.

Poverty. Not for lack of resources or ability, but for lack of will.

Amongst everything others have said, if you get sucked into an interview or press conference, directly and firmly state that, for the record, you are not suicidal and that if you should die, it was absolutely not suicide. You believe that you’ve become a target and fear for your safety and life.

It doesn’t matter if you believe yourself to be a target in the privacy of your head. Always say that you are early, often, loudly, and to anyone who will listen.

Switch to powder, your wallet will thank you.

Not surprising given that they’re designed to get lost or broken in less than a year. It’s almost like they need something to keep them from falling onto the ground when they slip out of your ear. Some kind of tether, linking them to each other and a larger, harder to lose object. If only some such device could be invented, it would solve the problem. Alas, I guess we’ll just have to learn to live with the problem.

Your moral panic isn’t welcome here.

Humanity will probably die out in the next hundred years and the planet will finally be able to recover, even if it has to start over from microbes to get there.

“double you” formally or “doubleya” informally.

Nothing. I won’t stop voting, but I’m old, tired, poor, mentally ill, and have been looking forward to the sweet oblivion of death since I was a small child. What about the country or planet is happening to make the future look bright to anyone, much less me? At best it’s all just meaningless noise.

Have you tried weed?

That life would be better as an adult.

That’s because America is the land of the free to shut up and do what you’re told, or else.

I want my funeral to be a roast but my fiancee asked me not to.

Rap.

Fun fact, hotels routinely buy permanent red dye. I used to work for a major distributor of hotel supplies.

Low to moderate. Lower than it would be if I wasn’t a white male, because is the world we live in.

Accept the fact that nothing matters, obviously.

Warning Labels on obvious things. Like “contains dairy” on a package of butter. At some point they need to stop and let Darwin take the wheel.

So is Gremlins.

Both. A better statement would be “Landlords and real estate investors” are parasites. If you can afford a home you don’t live in them you are driving up prices on homes that others could live in, fuck you.