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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • My company switched up retirement plans and they held a seminar to explain them. The person running the seminar said that we should be putting 15% of our salaries into retirement.

    Nice idea, but if I put 15% of my salary into retirement, then I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. I’m not living extravagantly or anything (buying something for $20 for my enjoyment seems like a splurge to me). Still, whenever I seem to be getting on a better financial footing, life throws me a curve ball. Need new hearing aids ($3,600). New a new dryer ($750). Might need a new car soon.

    So either I need to be paid a lot more, I will be working until I’m 90, or I put away the money and go deep into debt but can retire. (Just kidding. I’m nearing 50. I likely won’t have enough to retire. Maybe when I’m 80.)








  • I frequent Lemmy, Mastodon, and Threads. I feel like this is true in any of the three. Occasionally, I’ll wade in, but more often than not I regret it.

    This is especially true on Threads where the algorithm sees you arguing with someone saying X and then says “hey, you must want to see more posts that say X.” I finally realized that all I was doing was feeding the algorithm and stopped replying.



  • If all you consume is news and social media – which have incentives to show the most extreme views, events, and content – you’re going to have a distorted picture of the world as a 100% awful, dangerous place.

    Especially with social media sites that have algorithms. Did you view a thread slightly longer because it was on a scary subject and people were arguing about it? You’ll see more of that. Did you get angry at another post and decide to reply to correct them (possibly using ALL CAPS)? You’ll get more of those.

    Repeat again and again until the only posts in your feed are the ones that raise your blood pressure and make you want to scream.


  • GenX-er here. I grew up thinking that any day nuclear weapons would fly and obliterate us all. Coping with “one political party wants to turn the country into a Christian Fascist state” is easy by comparison.

    With the nukes, I had no say in the matter. The USSR could have lobbed nukes at us at any moment and the best I would have been able to hope for would have been a quick death. (Dying slowly from radiation poisoning and starvation would be much worse.)

    With the Republicans, I can vote and encourage others to vote. I can work against it. Yes, I’m only one person. I’m not going to topple their efforts myself, but thanks to the Internet, I have plenty of people helping me to thwart their plans.



  • ZScaler. It’s supposedly a security tool meant to keep me from going to bad websites. The problem is that I’m a developer and the “bad website” definition is overly broad.

    For example, they’ve been threatening to block PHP.Net for being malicious in some way. (They refuse to say how.) Now, I know a lot of people like to joke about PHP, but if you need to develop with it, PHP.Net is a great resource to see what function does what. They’re planning on blocking the reference part as well as the software downloads.

    I’ve also been learning Spring Boot for development as it’s our standard tool. Except, I can’t build a new application. Why not? Doing so requires VSCode downloading some resources and - you guessed it - ZScaler blocks this!

    They’ve “increased security” so much that I can’t do my job unless ZScaler is temporarily disabled.







  • Two times, but both are similar incidents:

    The first was when my oldest was nearly 1. He was running a fever and we called the doctor to see what to do. The doctor suggested a lukewarm bath to bring his temperature down. This seemed to help and my wife went to get a towel. As she came back, my son looked up at her, but it was like he was looking through her. Then, his eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp.

    I grabbed my son and shouted his name. There was no response and he was turning blue. My wife called 911 and her parents as I put him on the bed. The only thing that came to mind was “stop him from swallowing his tongue.” (This isn’t a thing I later found out, but I was panicking.) The emergency crews came as he started breathing again.

    At the hospital, they said it was a febrile seizure and it can happen with infants/young kids. It’s harmless most times, but very scary.

    The second incident was with my younger son. He started running a fever and the doctor recommended a lukewarm bath. I think you can see where this is going and so did I at the time. I told my wife to get the towel beforehand. She also called her parents and they came over before we put him in the bath.

    Sure enough, our younger son was fine until he stopped responding. Only he didn’t turn blue. He turned grey. And he didn’t start breathing again on his own. We called 911 and my mother-in-law did rescue breaths on him.

    I was running from the front door, looking for the ambulance, to the bedroom - watching my mother-in-law trying to help my lifeless son breathe. My father-in-law told me that I didn’t need to run back and forth. He said he’d look for the ambulance. I told him that I couldn’t just watch my son lifeless like that. I needed to DO something. Even if it was completely useless, I needed to be doing something.

    My younger son finally started breathing on his own and was fine. He went on to have many more febrile seizures until he (FINALLY) grew out of them. (He also had a tendency to fall and hit his head thanks to a hip issue. I swear that half of my grey hairs are thanks to him!)

    I got the tiniest glimpse of what losing a child might feel like and it was scarier than I could handle. Even writing this out is raising my anxiety. I never want to feel that way ever again.