I know for a fact I’ve said I was going to “Xerox some copies” on a machine that was almost certainly not manufactured by the Xerox Holdings Corporation.

“Oh, this new post already has a comment, let’s check it out! … Dang it!”

That’s pretty much my gripe. One time I saw a post with maybe six, seven comments, opened it up, and they were all either the bot, or replies to the bot.

And even if you block the bot the post still shows up as having comments. So you’ll open up a post boasting the aforementioned six or seven comments expecting to find a lively debate, or at least a wisecrack about global affairs, and leave with a bunch of tumbleweeds and the lingering knowledge that somewhere, two or more people are arguing with a machine about whether or not it thinks the newspaper is any good.

“Now now, Batman, you should know that when a little pest like you dances with the Bug Zapper… He’d better be ready for a shock!”

Season 4 episode 1, as well.

“Hey Tray, how’s connecting with the common man going?”

“It’s going super great, Dotcom. Meet my new friends, Nobody, and his wife, Susan Walters hyphen Nobody!”

I only purchased this toothbrush because that was the only way to get the water-resistant Entertainment Center/Speaker/Corporate Surveillance Device for the one room in my house that is the least comfortable, has the worst acoustics, and has the strongest expectation of privacy, and also I can’t just put a regular Alexa in like a plastic bag or something because I blew my plastic bag budget on a fucking app-controlled toothbrush or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, jesus christ

Shit, an emulator getting taken down for… actual copyright infringement? You don’t see that every day.

Well your corp don’t dance and if it don’t dance then it’s no friend of mine

And why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?