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Just keep in mind that you’re planning on bringing a child into a world where 90% of the planets arable land will be depleted by 2050, global fresh water demand will exceed supply by 40% by 2030 and 7 of 9 planetary boundaries have now been breached, so within the next 25 years billions of people will die in massive droughts and famines, and the oceans will be so acidic that the phytoplankton that produce 50 to 80% of the worlds oxygen won’t survive.

Oh and there’s a chance for a double Blue Ocean Event this year too.

There’s a double Blue Ocean Event being predicted for September too.

Mushrooms help with ego death, if you ever need to come to terms with dying

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Yes. I’ve met enough people and seen enough things. It’s not going to get better.

Also we’re rapidly heading towards a future without topsoil, fresh water and breathable air. Oh and resource wars/ww3. Good times right?

United Nations: 90% of Earth’s topsoil at risk of depletion by 2050

World Economic Forum: Global freshwater demand will exceed supply 40% by 2030, experts warn

Stockholm University: Seven of nine planetary boundaries now breached

Hopefully cancer or something gets me before shit gets really bad in my area.

So many ethincally British people wash dishes like that and it’s beyond disgusting.

Filling a tub with soapy water to dunk dirty plates and cups in and then sticking them straight onto a draining board, is literally just adding more yuck to your crockery for bacteria to grow on.

And these people would complain about wasting water and stuff not being clean when I washed things with soap and hot running water?!

Seriously, the stuff you eat off should not smell like rotting raw meat has been rubbed all over it, when it’s ‘clean’.

When I lived with housemates, those of use who weren’t ethnically from here could pretty reliably tell who was ethnically British just by opening their cupboard in the kitchen.

Teleporter malfunction

The prostate massage or the DNR?

This is reminding me of the ‘blood is imitation seawater’ thread on tumblr. Hang on let me grab it.

Ok it’s too long to copy and paste in full without hogging the thread (it’s like 4 or 5 screen shots in length), so here’s the first bit and a link to the rest.

https://www.tumblr.com/derinthescarletpescatarian/673446579329466368?source=share

Is that a real thing or is this an abstract comedy bit?

They were scientologists, right?

For a long time I was in the first image result if ‘London goth’ was typed into google.

You going to post the playlist once it’s done?

Chinese Burn by Curve This one has big chaos pixie energy.

Notable lyrics: She burns friends like a piece of wood, she’s jealous of me because she never could, holds herself up without a spine…

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Temple of Love by The Sisters Of Mercy

Classic trad goth with a drum machine and operatic drama.

Notable lyrics: Fucking all of them man, Som songs are pure poetry. There’s lots of elemental references here and it hints at a much more epic love story and fantasy setting too.

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Happy House by Siouxsie And The Banshees

Big chaos energy again, but with much more sinister discordance this time.

Notable lyrics: We’re all happy here, in the happy house… The whole song is creepy fey realm shiz, seriously just read it

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Et Moi by Nym

This is a mostly electronic instrumental track, with a hypnotic rolling beat that’s kinda haunting and catchy at the same time.

Like with name of the song and name of the band, the actual song here is also in French, but it all translates to big fey vibes imo. Lots of similar themes to the songs above too but from a different, more melancholic prespective. Link to translated lyrics here

Good luck with your character!

(Edited as I fucked up the formatting originally)

Fo shizzle my Bizzle

I like cats and that it looks like a stylised way of writing Cam, which is a cool little geared mechanism.

You’re going to get your dad to beat up my dad? For real? Ok, hang on, lemme find a pen ans give you my address. He’ll be mowing the lawn on Sunday afternoon, I’ll see you there! This is going to be great!

(This is a poorly paraphrased rendition of a Bill Hicks sketch, it’s stuck with me since I fist saw it as a kid tho as my parents were also assholes. My dad was built tho and would probably have killed anyone elses dad who was stupid enough to try anything, but the sketch made me laugh, so that’s something.)

Tonic water was going to be my suggestion too, it ticks all OP’s boxes.

Find a button up pajama shirt with a chest pocket, and sew a tennis ball (or something similar sized/shaped) into it. Can’t have sleep paralysis of you can’t sleep on your back.

Psicops

It’s a fast paced blend of adhd, stupid and very funny, and was sold to the network as X-files but with morons.