didn’t we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how ‘everyone thinks women are hot’ so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?

like as a guy i don’t even…have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all

  • paddirn@lemmy.worldEnglish
    582·
    9 months ago

    I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah bitch, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.

    • OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social
      2714·
      9 months ago

      This is why lesbians have better sex.
      You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.

      • misophist@lemmy.world
        271·
        9 months ago

        As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth. At least I can have multiple orgasms. Suck it, penis-owners!

        • OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social
          729·
          9 months ago

          I’ve just realised you all saw the word lesbian and short circuited, deciding everything following that word was supposedly all about lesbians, and not about the dude who says he stops fucking after he cums.

          Bruh. Try rereading my comment this way, it might make it easier for you to parse without your fantasy lesbians distracting you in the first sentence.

          You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
          This is why lesbians have better sex.

          • Guest_User@lemmy.world
            112·
            9 months ago

            Lol calm down it was an off hand joke. Not a great joke and it clearly didn’t land but it certainly wasn’t some grand statement meant to offend

            • OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social
              624·
              9 months ago

              I’m not offended? I’m finding this funny. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to project your emotions.

              Also I seriously only realised when replying to your comment what the others in this thread were on about by mentioning being straight in response to my comment. Which is why I explained it as it was obviously a parsing error.

      • Madlaine@feddit.de
        10·
        9 months ago

        The problem is more that cumming is the goal for many guys.

        I may won’t last long when penetrating, but we still have fun for hours before and after it.

        And I think that’s a point about how to approach sex, not about sexual identity

        • Ataraxia@sh.itjust.works
          44·
          9 months ago

          As a woman that sounds fucking exhausting. I finish as soon as I can and am not interested in going for hours. My boyfriend would want to buy I have sleep or snacks or games to get to. Heck, I’m fine not even finishing and I get annoyed he insists I do. Omg I’m so exhausted just thinking about it ugh.

  • corruptmagician@lemmy.world
    351·
    9 months ago

    Try it sometime, my wife loves it and I grew to not be shy about it. There is something about letting out moans and noises that makes sex so much better.

  • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
    22·
    9 months ago

    You guys are all over thinking this. A lot. I’m pretty sure it’s because basically all porn has a very loud female role and a near silent male role. There’s been lots of studies on how porn affects people’s actual sex lives. Vocalization is a part of that. Girls watch it in formative years, learn “This must be what my partner will find hot,” just like tons of other emulated behavior from other media. Boys do the same.

  • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    267·
    9 months ago

    Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I’m guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.

    I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can’t tell you why.

    • RaspberryRobot@lemmy.world
      9·
      9 months ago

      Trans man, I would say I vocalize more now that I’m T but that might just have to do with my life circumstances significantly improving at the same time, so I tend use my voice more often in general.

  • jray4559@lemmy.sdf.org
    9·
    9 months ago

    Porn has done it for dozens of years at this point, and it has just become not only an expectation, but just a thing that gets picked up.

    • Klear@lemmy.world
      1·
      9 months ago

      The reason men don’t moan during sex is the same reason why Gordon Freeman doesn’t talk, basically.

  • -☆-@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    168·
    9 months ago

    As a trans woman, I noticed it started happening fully unintentionally after HRT. It’s anecdotal, but makes me feel like there’s definitely a chemical component because it actually surprised me.

  • PhineaZ@feddit.de
    8·
    9 months ago

    See moaning and panting and the softly whispered “fuuuuucky yes” more as a means of expressing arousal and excitement. My SO is fairly vocal (involuntarily, I love it), but I had to learn it first. It really feels good tho’, I suppose it depends on what your partner wants/likes?

  • pan_troglodytes@programming.devEnglish
    2·
    9 months ago

    gonna agree with conditioning - we’ve been indoctrinated (by society) to behave in certain ways - like “men dont cry”, etc (they do). people acting in certain ways in certain situations is normal - and expected. we’ve been programmed to expect it and respond to it.

  • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
    2·
    9 months ago

    It’s conditioning by porn.

    In my experience, if you don’t make sounds as a woman during sex, the guy will become insecure, ask what’s wrong, straight out demand you make some sounds or even bring out stories about previous sexual encounters with other women.

    Also, some men moan. I think it’s hot if it’s natural and not forced because a man’s voice can be a turn-on.