Oftentimes the thing that keeps the USA in check from becoming the mafia Don of the world is knowledge that violations of international law enforces individual countries fixing their own problems and self determining their own governments. America acting like they can make decisions for other nations has always been internationally unwelcome. Breaching international law means consequences usually. People pull out of alliances, sweetheart deals evaporate, diplomatic power becomes strained and people stop sharing intelligence with you that helps keep your citizens safe. Sovereignty is a big deal. America has gotten away with a lot because they have a gun to the heads of the world due to how they ended WWII with their military complex intact while the rest of the world was spent. They leveraged that into hard (millitary/economic) and soft (diplomatic, collaborative, good faith) power.

Thing is, this regime doesn’t value soft power at all. Previous administrations had to use a lot of subterfuge to weave deniabillity into their actions. The rest of the world had to step lightly around America because essentially they had the biggest stick but there was this idea that if you courted favour with the bully that at least meant you and your friends were safe. But look at what’s happening right now.

America is pulling out of the international markets and international bodies of government. The message is clear that they are operating on hard power only because they believe themselves powerful enough to operate on their own and grab what they want… Even if that means economic sanctions that raise prices of nessesities, travel restrictions for citizens, intelligence gaps that leave targets open to their enemies or actual war that puts American lives at risk.

They are “solving these problems” right now because they don’t care about the safety or economic advantages for their citizens. They want to grab power that they can dissolve amongst their friends even if it means sacrifices and violence. Natural resource power isn’t usually extracted by governments. You sell contracts which they can turn into soft power amongst wealthy sycophants.

It won’t go well once they go after someone with more solid obligations.

If we’re talking war - Annexation of Greenland would probably do it.

Once you piss off enough people with allies then historically a lot of contractual responsibilities kick in… But the new playbook like what we’ve we’ve seen in Israel is "as long as nobody in government says the word ‘genocide’ we don’t have to honor our previously signed responsibility to step in so even that’s dodgy.

Once the US is seen as enough threat to the sovereignty of other nations who are just doing their own thing I think the response will kick in. Right now other countries are likely going to target the US’s pocketbook by decreeing various economic and banking sanctions and ratchet up the internal pressures. The US correcting it’s own listing ship through internal citizen lead processes is the good outcome and letting it basically fall into civil war is a more acceptable outcome than outside intervention from an international law perspective.

The US has a lot of Hard power : economic development and money, millitary might, strategic bases the world over, an uncomfortable amount of the world’s nukes and a landmass that is legit difficult to wage a war on. The bar to actually interfering directly through boots on the ground intelligence related action is really high.

Thank you for this I do try my best to be warm!

I have heard some folk fearmonger non-binary inclusion as some sort of theoretical pronoun police with some wild idea of disciplinary power. I know a lot of non-binary folk since we are pretty decent at identifying each other in the wild… and most of us don’t even introduce ourselves with our preferred pronouns if folk don’t make the space at a place we know we’re likely good because it’s still kind of awkward!

We know we’re asking for a mental effort in helping us out so when it happens and people want to give us a boost it’s so magic. The amount of energy we reclaim by not having our bodies reflected back at us through words is noticeable and so appreciated. With any group of folks with needs self advocating all the time really isn’t tenable. We oftentimes just want to pick the path of least resistance even if it means putting up with stuff that’s bad for us.

When people misgender someone by accident or say something in the moment that upon reflection wasn’t great they often are far too hard on themselves. Yeah it doesn’t feel great but you gotta step on some feet before you can dance and we’re just happy you’re dancing!

Hey, trans masc here,

Love the sentiment but don’t feel like an ass. If you want to include us in the sentiment it does some great stuff! It signals to trans and non-binary people who might be in listening range but be closeted or suppressing their needs in the interest of “not making waves” that you are a safe person to be themselves around. A lot of people who “don’t know a non binary person” might not simply because the ones around them are in hiding because onboarding someone to our status is exhausting and sometimes risky so signaling that you’ve already done some the work is AMAZING.

But that being said… Don’t feel guilty. This isn’t a game of right and wrong. “Political Correctness” is a tactic from the 90’s that really didn’t work because it was about policing. It was a cold politeness rather than a meaningful offering of solidarity or a chance to learn and there is a learning curve to allyship and thus a gratitude just for trying or considering a change. That you feel guilty is very sweet but you deserve to be comfortable and happy too. We as a community tend to celebrate people doing us a kindness, not begrudge people. Your friend showed you a spot where you could insert a moment of solidarity in the future if you wanted. That you immediately seem to want to is a rarer gift than you know.

These values are cyclical in history. Mostly they persist until the system breaks down and then there is a surge of solidarity which sets things back on the path until people start thinking all their advantages came from their own ability and then the cycle repeats.

The early 1900’s was fairly communal but the great war and the 1920’s was filled with this sentiment of individuality until the depression crashed it out and then there was a split - a combo of Union efforts, reinvestment in government systems and extreme solidarity out of nessesity in the US/UK and the same time toxic individuality caused a canabalization of society in fascist areas of Europe. The World War created more extreme communal solidarity. In the areas where there was union resistance and communal solidarity legislation to keep businesses in check was installed and that gave way to pushback from business interest. As solidarity continued there was more general prosperity and you started seeing marginalized communities start to speak up. Racial communities, disability communities, queer communities - those who had been denied the comfort everyone else was taking for granted popped up and fought like hell for empathy and some made bigger wins than others…but then you start seeing the push back. Austerity gospel via Regan and Thatcher “there is no society just individuals and families” and all those safeguards and solidarity that were put in place to solve the crash of the 30’s started to be undone and slandered as “too much overreach”.

Looking at the UK if you go back even further you see this cycle repeat work backwards and you see it. Victorian workhouse systems replacing the welfare state and then being discarded as cruel. The Georgian fight for the poor law and charity and the industrial revolution’s runaway excess of the rich that fed people into the meat grinder of labour and erroded poor law to force compliance.

Empathy’s time will come again but apparently we need to be reminded by virtue of horror what the cost of this kind of inviduality is.

Using AI therepy providers really isn’t recommended! There’s no accountability built in for AI therapy chatbots and their efficacy when placed under professional review has been really not great. These models may seem like they are dispensing hard truths - because humans are often primed to not believe more optimistic or gentle takes thinking them to be explicitly flattering and thus false. Runaway negativity feels true but it can lead you to embrace unhealthy attitudes towards your self and others. AI runs with the assumptions you go in with in part because these models are designed from an engagement first perspective. They will do whatever keeps you on the hook whether or not it is actually good for you. You might think you are getting quality care but unless you are a trained professional you are not actually equipped to know if the help you are getting is of good quality only that it feels validating to you. If it errs there is no consequences to the provider unlike human professionals who have a code of ethics and licencing boards that can conduct investigation for bad practices.

Once AI discovers whatever you report back to it you think is correct it will continue to use that tactic. Essentially it is tricking you into being your own unqualified therepist.

https://hai.stanford.edu/news/exploring-the-dangers-of-ai-in-mental-health-care

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-ai-therapy-can-be-so-dangerous/

If you have ever attempted to change your name you know it is way more annoying to change your name than accept someone else’s change of name. The amount of admin it takes to make that update in your social circle even before you try and make it legal is a test of social fortitude and willpower.

Remember when someone is changing their name they are very aware of the imposition of the mental load they are placing on you. Grace goes a long way.

I imagine the closest we are gunna get modern wise is Ostrich meat which tastes like the midway point between chicken and beef.

The person who is ridiculed because they are different, disowned from their families because they can’t meet the demands of pretending to be someone they are not, denied the social accommodation that makes their lives comfortable, refused housing because of how they look, denied the health care that helps them feel centered because it creeps out the people who do not have their condition… How can their mind be still?

Trans health is dependent on the people around us the same way your health is dependent on the people around you. Trans joy is as possible as trans suffering. The difference is in other people allowing it to happen.

This is career advice, not anti-intellectualism. With the rising cost of schools that leave so many in debt bondage University has risks. If you pick a field of study that you find rewarding but the jobs associated crush your soul or if there is no job then you end up in fantastic amounts of debt that unlike other debt cannot be forgiven. A lot of education via a university route is padded or inflated with requirements for the degree that do not add to one’s meaningful body of knowledge but exist to line the pockets of the institutions.

None of this is to say that one shouldn’t pursue knowledge, university is not the only route toward intellectualism. Being in trades does not stop one from learning from other resources. Autodiadactism is on the rise. What people are against is a predatory system of for profit post secondary education.

Misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and other forms of bigotry are also not inherent in blue collar positions by default. It more depends on your geographical location and crew in either situation because the more culturally normal it is in a given city to be queer or how many women are hired in a work place change those workplaces. As a trans person I have worked a number of blue collar jobs that compared to trans friends of mine in whitecollar positions have been more universally accepting of my identity. A number of my co-workers in those construction jobs are also damn near always in classes of some variety, sometimes in accredited institutions but not always. We are all in situations where the job market and personal survival pushes us to the practicality of going where the money is for work but not allowing ourselves to be entirely defined by our jobs. Sometimes the blue collar positions are very meaningful. They are often tied in to incredibly basic facets of quality of life, helping people be properly sheltered, hygenic and comfortable or improving communities through infrastructure.

Your post in some ways comes across as a bit elitist as though white collar positions demanding high levels of acreditied education are more valid than blue collar ones. We should be looking to support blue collar positions as not failure states and provide safety nets for the physical strain of those positions while offering workers chances to obtain education for education sake at reasonable cost to allow them career flexibility and personal enrichment while critiquing systems that place so great a financial burden on students.

Mostly realizing that masculinity really is what you make of it. It doesn’t need to be aspirational and probably shouldn’t be. You are a man regardless of whether you fit anyone’s expectations of that or not and the more people you find to become friends with who accept this radical fact the more comfortable you are to express masculinity without boundaries. Being able to be fully real without pretending to like or hate anything because you are “supposed to”. Being able to express a full range of emotion without fear and talk about it occasionally. Not being held to a standard of sacrifice of the self for meaningless prizes which hold no lasting value.

Secondly - sometimes comfort is a trap. We seek comfort as a natural instinct and to have it sometimes is a good thing… But to find it and expect to live in it all the time makes your world smaller. Over time you lose the functionality that allows you to make changes and do the things that you need or want to. Pushing out little by little into the uncomfortable slowly expands the space and duration in which you can be functional and comfortable. Doing things you don’t like, make you self conscious or put you temporarily in an environment that tires you out is training your mind to be tougher and more resilient. Go without comfort sometimes, treat it as exercise or nessisary medicine. Self-care is one thing but self-coddle will make whatever you tell yourself about not being able to handle things true. It is a sedentary lifestyle of the mind. Find a medium between points of comfort and vistas of discomfort to venture into and you will find less things hold you back, more stories you will have to tell and the more life you will feel like you have lived and the more rewarding your times of comfort become.

“Masculine identifying” generally opens the table to trans men and Non-binary Trans masculine people. Basically anyone who aligns themselves with and finds comfort in expressing masculinity.

If you are unhappy here I assure you there are others to choose from. However I have no particular desire to delve on someone else’s behalf particularly since when so many say “freedom of speech” the term so often boils down to just wanting to say slurs or phobic commentary. Either this place is good enough to use with the design of etiquette the people who came before you set or it’s worth accepting the inconvenience of moving on and finding something better on your own.

I wish you luck in your hunt.

See I don’t think the “tribe” is the trouble when one is given the option and space to choose or abandon their tribes freely with no cost. If this particular culture isn’t your jam there’s plenty of others that do similar that might be to your taste.

Applying the trauma of racism, religious persecution and so on to a digital place that is one of many… Doesn’t feel genuine. I have a lot of feelings about places becoming toxic through allowing racist/phobic stuff to thrive but it’s not like the people booted from spaces who hold those views are shut out in the absolute cold. There are spaces where their veiws and comfort is centered it just doesn’t nessisarily overlap with where I am.

Saying we must accept absolutely everything because “tribes are bad” seems to apply some axiomatic principle to the lowest of low stakes social clubs. The Internet is a string of endless bars next to each other, if you don’t like what one place is serving there’s another one down the road.

On the topic of echo chambers - At what point did we decide that a bunch of people over a wide geographical area with similar interests and a common code of standards/preferences of civility… Is a bad thing?

It’s kind of how social clubs exist irl.

Eh, I have seen enough of what happens to places that favour so called “freedom of speech” or no moderation over valuing comfort of vulnerable users. There’s plenty of places that exist that have “freedom of speech”. Rather than making this place just like those places why not just go to a pre-existing one or start your own?

As a gay trans guy who grew up in the 90’s trying to sort out the toxic masculinity/internalized misogyny while fully closeted and being unaware that other trans men exist is a trip. Like doing all that “I have no emotions and refuse anything remotely girl-coded” song and dance kind of made me into what looked from the outside like a “pick-me” for years and I was relentlessly pursued romantically by people I just wanted to hang out and drink beer with. It was isolating and fucked up even if the behaviour soothed the dysphoria.

Had to address the internalized misogyny thing first, realize that was not motivating the trans portion of the issue and then had to work on getting off the toxic sauce that felt so darkly affirming and actually spend time with cis men who had properly deconstructed their own masculinity. Now I’m generally way better off and have a bunch of folk whom I brunch with who gas each other up over cocktails.

And trans men, don’t forget about us!

Real bloody fun to be arrested by police srripped and humiliated or run out by security guards or assaulted by patrons all while being treated like perverts for following idiot laws to the letter by peeing in the “correct” bathroom…

Cis folk… Are you doing okay? We of the trans community are getting concerned for you.