However, except in probably exceedingly rare cases, there are no microbes that can subsist off of silicone.

When your friend White Hot Dog Buns says something funny and you’re just like

Redo The Adventures of Pluto Nash, but replace Eddie Murphy with Michael Cera from 2010.

I had a co-worker at one of my first big boy jobs working for a hospital, and this guy was weird as weird could be.

He was an older man, probably in his late fifties at the earliest, and we worked in the IT department, and he would blast Avril Lavigne music non-stop.

To make this worse, he wouldn’t stop even if you asked him to, and he didn’t talk to people, he was rough, he was mean, he was grouchy, he was unapproachable.

About a year after I started, he disappeared one day.

I asked my co-workers about him, and the truth finally came out.

Apparently, about six months before I started, he had gotten into a car accident and killed two people in the car accident, and he was found at fault for drinking and driving.

The reason he was not in jail at the time was his trial was still going through, and the weekend before he disappeared, his trial commenced, he was found guilty and he was sentenced.

And, yeah, as far as I am aware, he is still in jail today if he’s still alive.

About a year later, one of my other co-workers was murdered by his wife and their pastor, and it became nationwide news.

I think it depends on the job. In house cast iron sewer line replacements are only a few steps in difficulty above swapping a sink, not counting the muscle you need to move them, assuming you’re swapping to PVC.

Life, uh, finds a way

Well, I was intentionally writing it to be crass. I would never tell a girl that I care about that “I’m gonna wreck her holes” unless the situation explicitly called for it.

Do some training so that you could flicker at exactly 60 frames a second, and most cameras, assuming that you caught the right 60th of a second, would not even see you.

You also might be able to time with the saccadic rhythm of the eyes and make yourself invisible to a single viewer while still retaining your vision thanks to persistence of vision.

And, assuming you knew you had to walk in a straight line or something, you could just go invisible, walk straight forward to your destination, and then turn visible again.

I imagine guys would do it just so they could have temporarily larger penises.

I know I would.

“Babe, I’mma wreck your holes tonight, let me hop in the bath.”

Mostly I sit around and browse lemmy

And it takes time for people to transition. Think about a major corporation. If they want to roll out a new piece of software, that is a three-year commitment, minimum, just to get people to spend most of their water cooler time talking about how much they hate the new software.

That is extra IT hours spent on training users over and over and over again on how to use the new software.

And after three years, somebody will step in and say, “Hey, why don’t we try software Y, It’s better than the software that we just rolled out”, which queues a new three-year software rollout cycle.

Extrapolate that out to 8 billion human beings, well over 2 billion of which drive vehicles or utilize personal transport systems that are internal combustion engine powered, and you’ll begin to get an idea of how difficult it is to transition everyone away from fossil fuels.

The good news is that it is happening, and barring major accidents, we will probably get most of the way there during our lifetimes.

They could rule that law unconstitutional and void it, though.

Although I do find it strange that there is no check on the judiciary.

Like, it’s supposed to be checks and balances, but what stops the judges from passing an unjust law?

Judges have a lifetime appointment in the Supreme Court. The only way they can be removed is by all of Congress coming together and choosing to impeach one of them, and that takes years when Congress is actually functioning.

I was so mad in the moment. It was very out of character for me.

The guy kicked my car because I agreed with the female cashier at the 7/11 that he should leave and so I got out of the car and he pulled a gun on me. I told him to fucking do it and instead he walked away.

Good idea would be to create a version of yourself in your head with a set date five years from now.

Write down what they have achieved and what they have going for them.

Compare yourself to that as you approach that five-year date.

I mean, it could also be a “like” potion.

You drink the potion and everyone you meet just kind of likes you.

Of course, if it goes wrong, then everyone you meet likes you a little bit too much. And that’s when you would need that restraining order potion sprunt mentioned.

Santa Claus is real, and the reason why most of you don’t believe in him anymore is because you were naughty kids.

The only reason I still believe in him is because I heard the sleigh bells. I was a naughty child, too.

My stepdad once made coleslaw that smelled like burnt rubber. Me and my siblings told him that we would not eat the coleslaw, it would taste like burnt rubber. And he tried to convince us that since we had never eaten burnt rubber before in the past, that we couldn’t possibly know what burnt rubber tastes like, and therefore we should eat the coleslaw.

It turned into an hours-long argument about how you don’t have to actually eat burnt rubber in order to know what burnt rubber smells like, and that there’s no good reason for coleslaw to smell like burnt rubber.

In the end, me and my siblings won, and we did not eat the coleslaw, but I don’t understand how you can cook coleslaw… no, wait, you don’t even cook coleslaw!

I don’t know how you can prepare coleslaw so poorly as to have it smell like burnt rubber, and I don’t know how you can be so married to your burnt rubber coleslaw that you would attempt to force children to eat it, regardless of the fact that it smells like burnt fucking rubber.

I’ll pick up a chair and throw it out of the window, start screaming “fuck you!” at everyone in earshot, and then whip out my dick and start pissing all over the place.

If they still hire me after that, I will work there until I retire.