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I’m not sure if an affair directly implies cheating.
There are many ways to coexist with a partner or partners, and many ways to cheat or otherwise lie/conceal stuff.
Neither as a premise include an affair, but both certainly can.
I’m not sure if an affair directly implies cheating.
There are many ways to coexist with a partner or partners, and many ways to cheat or otherwise lie/conceal stuff.
Neither as a premise include an affair, but both certainly can.
Yours is a somewhat more cynical way of writing it down, but the underlying mindset is one I share.
I prefer to see it as not expecting anything from anyone, rather than expecting them to disappoint you. It’s basically the same, but doesn’t feel as cynical.
It truly changes your life though, no matter how you see it. I can’t remember myself having been, in real life, angry or disappointed in people in great many years. Life is just so much better without those feelings, which seems obvious, but you can’t really emphasis that enough still.
It took me years of self-reflecting and “finding myself” in the process of overcoming a years-long bout of clinical depression. It’s not easy, but I do believe everyone can find that mindset, given enough effort and perseverance. Sisu.
Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk 2077. Both amazing games (latter after the many updates that brought it over to the good side).
If it’s “too” long (really, no such thing, but situationally this can be the reality) it can happen that life turns so that there’s no more time, and when I try to get back, too much time has passed and I can’t orientate myself anymore, can’t remember where I was and what I was doing etc.
On the other hand, I can’t start again either, for a few years, because I remember everything before the point I left off at, once I get into the places and puzzles and whatnot.
Annoys me to no end.
But c’est la vie.
Ah, now it makes sense. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you before, with a post about how can one plan to live alone for the rest of their life, or something to that effect, and it was exactly like this.
Seriously, I think you should not only consider, but also just straight out start therapy. And you should start it pronto. I’m sure Italy has a more or less accommodating welfare system that makes this possible. Takes jumping through a few loops likely, but my man, you seem miserable and it makes me sad to see anyone live with a mind like this. Life could, and should, be as tolerable as possible, if not even nice. I realize you are in a mental state where this sounds unrealistic or just out right hopeless dreaming, but I’m telling you, if you are in a western Europe country and have access to internet and basic utilities, you already have all it takes to make you happy. The rest of it is just improving mental health and attitude.
Best of luck, though I expect you won’t even consider any of this and will just continue taking the easy road of ignorance and giving up. And that’s fine, it’s your prerogative. But I truly hope you find some help and people around you to get you through this rut.
There’s plenty of work right there. Art is work. Training is work.
It’s not that you’d want to live without work.
It’s that you’d want to do work important and meaningful to you.
No need to undermine it.
I’m actually in a similar relationship, though not due to design or will, just life and happenstance.
My so has a great job with good schedule and it’s her “soul” job, not sure what the word is in English but maybe you understand.
I’m, on the other hand, struggling with finding a career I could sustain. I have ADHD so it’s kinda tough, but we make it work perfectly.
Nowadays I study an engineering degree, so I’m home keeping the place neat and cooking for her and all that, and she provides the funds for all kinds of fun activities and all the rest you know, food and such included. I don’t mind, though at first my toxic masculinity kind of fought against that and I had a period of feeling bad about it. But we talk a lot and are good with it, so we went through it and it’s been nice since.
But I can imagine it’s hard for a man without prior experience of such a situation, to acclimate. But I think everyone can acclimate to it and get used to it. Just need to have very good communication to get through the first rough couple of months.
The latter is actually a good point. I had almost forgotten how constant and combative reddit was at times with the far-right peeps and incels and whatnot. At the time it had become so normal, one didn’t even think about it. Maybe offer alternative ideas (= argue) a while or just ignore, but now that you mention it, I don’t think there has been many situations like that here, for me at least. Not to say that the enlightened centrists aren’t very much the same in practice, and those I face here every now and then. They just aren’t nearly as bad in substance.
Pretty much the same here. This scratches the very same itch that reddit did, but has several bonuses on top.
Salmiakki. Not the kind of similar salted liqourice, but actual proper salmiakki. Haven’t had a variation of that so far that wasn’t amazing and addictive
Most everyone I know have and daily drive one too.
The difference is in the having adhd and not having adhd department. They are very careful and dutiful with them. I can only ever attempt my best to be so, and it only takes the one slip of the mind and it’s gone.
I’m not saying having and using a bike is not safe. I’m saying having and using a bike is not safe, if you end up offering the low hanging fruit to thieves even once a while.
Just an anecdote: Any bike I’ve ever owned, got stolen or if it was well locked, wrecked and hacked to shit for no apparent reason. I have ADHD so it’s difficult for me to go through the motions of carrying the bike with me to the office and back, each time I leave, and at home I haven’t the space to bring it up with me. Most grocers or markets or shops don’t allow me to wheel it along with me inside.
It would be amazing if that was an option, but I’m not rich enough to replace a bike every few months, and I do move enough to warrant having a good bike, not just any cheap and rusty one. So it’s a pickle.
I am still very much in opposition of unnecessary cars in cities, so I do not own one currently, and instead of bike, I move about with buses and trains. It’s okay, but I’d love to have the freedom some days, that a bike provides.
But it is simply impossible for me to own one. It makes no sense whatsoever, since for some reason, the cities are not even close to safe to keep one for someone like me who’s not so great with self-execution and routines. And I live in one of the safest countries on earth, that has been declared the happiest country on earth for 7 years in row now… I can’t imagine how bad it is elsewhere…
Sometimes reality does not fit well with ideals.
Luckily, I have the option of public transport. But I don’t even know what I would do if I didn’t…
Synechdoche, New York
Mostly because I like to recommend things that are likely new to whoever I’m recommending to, and my experience has been that this isn’t a very widely appreciated or even known flick. And I also happen to love it personally, so it just became my go-to recommendation.
I do preface the recommendation with a “After watching it yearly for over a decade, I still don’t really really get it”. Its great.
I think most clients should implement some kind of logic to remove bot comments form the comment counts. AFAIK, lemmy already has a feature to distinguish bots(?), so it should probably should be possible to at least suggest some easy enough api for that if none exist currently.
Had the exact same two in my childhood and youth in Finland. Probably some nuance differences in language, but semantically very similar ones! Muurahaissota and lumisade 🕺
The tips you share towards the end are good, but I don’t think discipline is the guiding star there. Neither is it failing as a parent, if one’s child isn’t necessarily academically inclined, or otherwise has struggles with higher education.
Discipline does not work as you describe, and it does not fall so neatly into one specific category of discipline. Same as intelligence, there are different types of discipline.
And even then, there is no distinct “adult” burnout that is something one can not get in college. That just sounds diminishing and dismissive, and can cause a lot of dangerous and unhealthy coping mechanisms or habits to form for anyone battling with very real burnout, be it in college or in other kind of working environment.
But since your points towards the end are actually helpful and something that is widely recommended for different kind of habit forming endeavors, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are not intentionally malicious or dismissive with your opening remarks, rather just a product of your environment, which has taught you a very narrow view of a very common issue.
I would actually take a very different route as a contrast to others on this thread:
I would clone some 20-30 mes and do a speedrun together to gather enough funds to buy a farm, and live out the rest of my life in a commune dream with others like me 🥹
Eventually there’d be other people joining in and I could release more and more of the clones as we gather enough saved up and finish the mortgage and all.
So eventually we’d find something of a balance at around 2-4 clones with which we’d just arrange a rotating system of guaranteeing 3 weeks of free time each between a week of work 😌
This was one of my favorites as a kid in the 90s, though I do not live in the eastern bloc.
It’s pretty trippy and weird when I look at it now, but I used to love it!
Man, you had a good point initially, but now you’re just really stubbornly defending a position you must realize is a really thin one. You’re arguing that they implied defederation isn’t important, but that’s a straw man you yourself constructed, not what they said at all.
I think you might have lost sight of what’s rational for pride or something.
Well, I might have an idea why it’s downvoted so.
While I agree with the sentiment, and as such, upvoted to boost the message, it’s still very combative and needlessly passive-aggressive with its kumbayah and the stereotypical hippie talk, “man”, which really just annoyed and cringed myself too.
But to each their own. I still like to boost if the sentiment is valuable as a pov at least, here I happen to also agree. But the passive-aggressive tone is really uncalled for.
Edit: I read further ahead, and this person in question continues their combative and provocative tone. I’m tempted to recall my upvote just because of this, but it’s a good perspective to consider, so I’ll stick with boosting this specific comment with an upvote (though not the later ones that ramp up the toxicity). But I really do not like the tone… I can very clearly now see why many would downvote.
The way I understand the word, it’s more of a “fling”, or a short-term relation, as opposed to something long-lasting or structured. Which, for example, can be fully okay and include no shadiness if it’s communicated with the partner or partners.
I guess words change meaning over time, and since the default has been monogamy for so long, the word is still stigmatized and associated with cheating since it means something short?
As an example, single people can often be heard to have had vacation affairs, which wouldn’t imply cheating since they are single. But the word is used in that context too.