No licking!

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    28 days ago

    They could also use the poophole loophole.
    A tampon soaked in Vodka and inserted anally gets you drunk fast.
    At least that’s what a friend told me.

    • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      But then some alcohol might get on your magic underwear and then you’re just a run of the mill sinner again

      • moody@lemmings.world
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        28 days ago

        The poophole loophole usually means something different. They say anal sex doesn’t count as “losing your virginity.” So they can have all the premarital sex they want, as long as it’s in the pooper.

    • hddsx@lemmy.ca
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      28 days ago

      Okay. I can’t tell if you’re serious, but if that’s true, how does that work medically?

      Don’t liquids get absorbed through the intestines? Can you even stick something up your butt far enough to reach your intestines?

      • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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        28 days ago

        It’s capillary action. It just rams straight into your bloodstream, no dilution or waiting to go through stomach. It’s fast and effective.

      • superkret@feddit.org
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        28 days ago

        Alcohol gets absorbed by mucus membrane much faster than by going through your digestive tract. And your anus is lined with mucus membrane.
        It was a craze a decade or so ago where I live, cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol, and some of them ended up in the ER.

        • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
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          28 days ago

          It was also a crazy in the US. They called it butt chugging. It was funny to hear politicians talk about how we needed to do something about butt chugging

        • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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          28 days ago

          cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol

          Did they ever realize that’s not how that works?

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            28 days ago

            Oh but it is. Not familliar with the phrase “boofing,” are you? Works for more than just booze, too, all kinds of things can become a suppository and affect your brain if you ignore the doctors warning you it could kill you, or listen to the ones saying “here’s some butt pills.”

            • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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              28 days ago

              I’m very familiar. That’s why I know it won’t keep the smell of alcohol off your breath. The alcohol goes to the blood, and a byproduct goes to the lungs which is exhaled. You can’t defeat a breathalyzer by shoving booze up your ass.

              • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                28 days ago

                Ooohhh I see what you mean, my mistake! I’m used to people saying buttchugging itself is a myth and doesn’t work, so I misunderstood!

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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        28 days ago

        Additionally to what others have said it’s also quite dangerous. You can drink a fatal amount of alcohol but your body will generally puke before it absorbs enough to kill you.

        Using this method (boofing), you don’t have that defense, it’s absorbed too quickly and your body doesn’t generally shit itself to expel poison.

      • Azzu@lemm.ee
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        28 days ago

        Are your dumps really smaller than a tampon? If they aren’t, why do you think your hole would need to be especially gaped?

        • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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          28 days ago

          I looked it up and I get it now. I assumed O.B. style tampon with no applicator, which would be difficult to insert. The info I found shows the soaking of the tampon inside the applicator, which makes a lot more sense.

          • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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            28 days ago

            As soon as you asked your initial question I too was imagining someone trying to fit a fully expanded tampon inside them … which is a though I wish I hadn’t